Sunday, February 5, 2012

Endings and Beginnings

It's funny how life can totally change.  You think you know the future for miles ahead.  Then suddenly everything's different.  Last fall, due to circumstances beyond our control, we had to abandon our home of 9 years and move across town to a rental home.  I admit, the extra space has been nice (900 sq ft to 2100 sq ft), but the cost- financially  (the high rent), of losing property therefore garden space (1/3 acre to a postage size lot) and moving from county to city ( losing my chickens) has been very hard on me.  Add in the stress of going to school full-time while managing the move and being mama to 3 boys, and I have pretty much been depleted, exhausted, depressed, stressed, etc. for the last 5-6 months.  There were way too many days of unnecessary shopping, eating fast food, using paper plates and paper towels, and pretty much living and doing everything I stand against.  It felt horrible and I knew I had to pull myself together.  While coming to grips with my new living situation I've realized that I am going to have to master that old adage of being happy regardless of circumstances.  I've figured that I can squeeze in some herbs here and there amongst the flower beds and maybe even try growing some veggies in pots on the deck.  Meanwhile I can support my local farmers by shopping at the Farmer's Market and the Saturday Grower's Market when the season starts.  I have scrounged together all the canvas bags I could find in a determination to stop using paper and plastic bags from the store.  I'm getting back into shopping the sales and cooking from scratch as much as possible.  Another blessing has been having the space to create my own sewing/craft room.  I am hoping that I will be able to make many homemade projects and gifts when time allows.  And hopefully I will have more time as well.  After much consideration, I have dropped some of my classes and decided to spread my program out over 2 years instead of 1.  While this will cost more, I think that I need to be able to focus more of my time and energy at home and on my kids.  So, all in all, while this has been a very difficult season in my life, I think it will all work out for good.  Though the growing and stretching may not always be pleasant, I trust that I will find many surprising moments of happiness and new opportunities along the way of this new journey.